There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
