i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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