Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
