You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
