I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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