somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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