The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
