Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
