i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
