I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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