After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
