So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Blood and glitter go together right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
