Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
