Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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