I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
