For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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