After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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