just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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