He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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