Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
