we're chasing vodka with high fives
You smell like a Billy Joel song
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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