just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
