I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize