Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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