the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
