im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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