Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
