I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize