It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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