Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
