Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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