You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Sober January is a disaster.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize