You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
