Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
smell my finger.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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