i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
jump out the window naked night went bad
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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