A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize