Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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