Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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