Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
