No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
