I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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