I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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