i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
