My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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