what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize