Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
