Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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