so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
