the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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