I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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