evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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