new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
