Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
