I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.